POEM OF DISASTER

POEMS OF DISTRESS (poems being edited)

POEMS OF LOSS (poems being edited)

POEMS OF AFTER (poems being edited)

POEMS OF DISARRY (poems being edited)

POEMS OF DISCOMFORT (poems being edited)

POEMS OF DESIRE (poems being editing)

POEM OF DISASTER

Nothing, Not Anything:  Ode to Lisa

What is the color of nothing?           
What does it look like? What does it feel like?
Does it feel like what I know?
And if it does, why can't I bear it?
Define it? 

If I cannot bear it, put it down,
Then I cannot let it go, and it rots me
Nothing is all that I have
It cannot be searched for       
Put into words, canvas, or paints

Tell me please, what is the color of nothing?
Because that is what is left
I cannot see it, or believe it to have form
I still look everywhere, longing for something
But nothing sets forth

I feel it, barely believe it
Searching for something beyond it
But everything is nothing now
It surrounds my present, my future
Yet not my past, no not my past

Nothing does not live in captured time
Only beautiful ghosts of form and color
But I cannot live there very long
So I look to the present in the smallest amounts,
Realizing you and your future are lost

And I am left with nothing, not anything
One death is enough to bear, anymore I cannot
And nothing precedes, gives way
It is too hard to bear nothing
Tell me please, what is the color of nothing?

So I can put it down, make sense of it all 
Make it mine to bear
Nothing is too hard when it cannot be bore
It has not color, form, or presence
I look for you everywhere, still nothing is there

It stifles me, brings me here
But paper cannot capture nothing,
When it is not anything
I see nothing of once was mine,
Yet I feel nothing in all it’s depth

And to feel nothing is not anything
It is too much to bear nothing
Yet I want to bear it, if only for you
Everything is nothing now, not anything
And nothing physically left behind, makes me without sight

This loss is too great to bear
And to be lost in nothing right now, is not anything
I know what you left and keep what is mine
But that does not bring me peace, nor comfort, nor calm of mind
Just contempt for the Divine

Forgive me God, faith is weak
And you know my path, the path you laid upon me
But what was laid cannot be bore, asking for mercy  
A force to define what was lost, left behind
Left with nothing, not anything

Still searching, can barely breathe, and nothing brings me to my knees
How can something be so powerful as nothing, yet not anything
Do you know the color of nothing?
Can you sit beside me, give me sight?
Or is nothing meant not to be bore?

Can we share something so powerful and painful as nothing, yet not anything?
I need to find the color, my grief, my sight!
My grief is not nothing, it is everything, not anything!
Please tell me, give me the color!
What is the color of nothing?!

Wrote March 22nd 2019

POEMS OF DISTRESS

Car Wreak

Unsettled: Hiding

Unsettled: Drowning

Unsettled: Fading

Unsettled: Lost

Broken

Undone

My Tree

Death of a Flower

The Silent Tree

Ode to Me

A Dance for One

The Empty Chair

Lost

The Keeper

Paralyzed: Hope?

Abandoning

Dead It

POEMS OF LOSS

Day 1

A Heavy Hand

Death Comes Knocking

A Look at Death

Clarity: The Prelude

Faith Lost

Faith Does Not Live Here

The Lost: A Fall from Grace

Faith Silenced

Faith Speaks

A Tragic Faith

My Struggle, My Truth, My Beloved

A Faith Changed: A Second Fall from Grace

The Burden

The Bridge

Ye of Little Faith

Waiting for the Storm

Unsettled

On a Beautiful Sunday Afternoon

POEMS OF AFTER

Bottom

Own It

Forgive Me

Forgive Me: On a Lighter Note

A Quiet Sadness

Rotting

The Aftermath

Settling In

My Mess

Falling Apart

Washed Away

The Veil

Hurt

Turn Me On

Vulnerable

The Ditch

Damaged Goods

Stay Alive

Color

Destroy

Pull Back the Pin

Not a Savior

Ugly

Bitterness

Cut Throat

Bite Your Tongue

Silence

Engraved

Without

Flowers in Dust

Dust Flowers

In Full Bloom

Thee as Me

Before Your Eyes

To the Harvester

Monster

“Murderer”

Beautifully Ugly

“Lovebird”

Traitor

Devilish Deeds

The View by the Lake

Worthy

It’s Not High Enough

First Try

The Fall

The Worth

Making It Out Alive

Baggage

Forgive

The Wind

Have You Heard?

My Dues

POEMS OF DISARRAY

A Shift in the Wind

Not a Real Place

A Fight for Life

The Swell

Cracks

Years

Fallen

A Presumption

Stupid Bird

Death of a Flower: Life Hangs in Balance

Hell Furry of Insomnia

Not Held Together

Enough?

Casualty

Fatality

My Prayer

A Hanging

The Thorn

To Love a Thorn

Prun It! Prun It! Prun It!

Are You Ok?

Peril

The Raven

Permission

What is This?

Far Away

Unhinged

POEMS OF DISCOMFORT

Choose

The Forbidden Question

Not Enough

The Dead

The Dragon

My Front Porch

Before

Pretty with Words

The Hunter

Devour

Life

To Life and Love

Us Against Them

Without Merit

Man’s Fate

The Golden Rule

Bewildered

The Henchman

A Standstill

Dancing

First Amendment

Communication

Damn Beautiful Bastard

Heartless

Shhhh

A Sacrifice

The Female Plight: No Response, Just Listen

Upside Down

The Beast

Hmmm

I’m Here!

A Take Down

Lippy

Voices

Crank

Cut and Dried

The Journey

Fire

POEMS OF DESIRE

A Windy Day

You Caught Me

A Wish

Untether

Pull: Fighting

Pull: Dust Settles

Tradition: Transition

Open Land

The Return

A Child is Born

Ode to a Mother

Dancing Trees

Mended Dress: To____,

The Puzzle: The Pieces

Roots

Bastard

Bones

Desire

Release

Hope

Not Too Close

Curtain View

Not a Storm

Teeth

My Skin

The Swan Amongst the Snow Geese

Wicked Wind

Forbidden

A Murder I Call

Lava Flower

Sweetness Comes-Hither

My Hands